Lost my job not too long ago, about the same time my girlfriend left me. We were at her parents for thanksgiving when she left me. We drove together. So had me go home alone in her car. Driving home I crashed her car, smh. Two days later I got black out drunk with the intention of killing myself. I fought 6 police officers before they put me on a 96 hour hold.

Worst part about all of that is she kept my dog after blocking me on everything.

I’d say that’s pretty well rock bottom for me.

I’d tried therapy, mediations, new hobbies and interests, new careers, meditation. Man, you name it, I tried it.

It’s just all a joke at this point. Like, how much worse could it get, you know? And you’d think at this point I’d still have an incredibly pessimistic point of view right? Wrong

I couldn’t give a damn about anything now. Because it really all is a joke. I was just taking life WAY too seriously. I’m gonna die, you’re gonna die, we are all gonna die. So fuck it. Just let go of everything and be free while you’re here. It’s not that deep. Nobody will remember any of us in 100 years anyway.

I guess my whole point is don’t take life too seriously. Have fun. Enjoy the people around you that do choose to stay. Go out. Experience life. Take that leap you are scared to take. If that thing makes you nervous, do it! You’re a good person and you deserve good things. Don’t torture yourself like I did.

It’s your first time being alive. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. It’s okay. I love you! Now you love you!