Okay so I'm going to really take this serious and write down everything that's on my mind. Hopefully after I will say all this you guys can give me advice comment tell jokes whatever you want to do but I got to tell my truth out..... Here we go..... I'm 40 I used to live in Philadelphia for 15 years out of my house because prices were just way too high for me to be able to take care of my myself so I was forced to move back with my mom to save money so I can move out but since I've moved in I have no privacy I can talk to a guy made a little kid every time I go out anywhere at night it's like she has to call me every hour on hour so let me know it's time to come out You're out too late I'm 40 fucking years old and I explain this to her many times saying let me be a man let me just do it I do okay I not doing good with living by myself okay I get that everybody's been going through some stuff lately but I'm not a person that even does bad shit only thing I do is smoke weed but I work I work at the airport but it's like every time I make money it's like she has her hand out asking for money for different dumb shit that she don't eat I understand the rent but after the rent it's here and there stuff and then I'm broke again and then when I come to her about it she's like you're living in my house under my rules. I just want her to acknowledge me as a grown man but you want to treat me as a little kid but take all my money and make me feel like shit to the point where I feel like I'm just stuck and then want to tell me you need to do better with your money You need to say better but you never taught me how to save shit as a kid All I saw you and my aunts do was bye-bye bye I've never got lesson from y'all about how to say so that's why I have bad financial decisions. So that's one issue The second issue is that I have a girlfriend that is diabetic we just found out and that she might be losing all her teeth because of the diabetes now I love my girl we help each other out You've been together for almost 10 years but the thing is that I haven't had sex in about two years so the last two years I've been a chronic masturbator I've masturbated about three times out the day when I'm off work five times when it's my day off I try anything to get my girl aroused or try to get her in the move but she beats pressed about her diabetes and her teeth right now And I know I'm supposed to be the good boyfriend and like it's okay but it's really starting to bother me now it's crazy how I know my own hand better than my own girls vagina. It's got to the point where I'm starting to look on Amazon to buy masturbators and sex toys and I have a girlfriend this don't make sense On top of that I'm ADHD and I get annoyed very easily I'm starting to hate my life And I don't think there's anything I can do to help myself now I know to some of y'all this might be a joke or stupid or something on the sort but I am dead serious when I'm like super depressed I tried committed suicide five times when I was younger as you can see all failed I'm not a good assassin cuz I can't even succeed in killing my own dn self. I thought about therapy but therapy even cost money which I can't afford at the moment and I literally don't know what to do with my life I feel stuck I feel like nobody cares and I feel like I'm just the biggest joke in the world so I don't know if this is going to help me focus is going to destroyed up seeing me on the news with my throat cut because I can't take life anymore. JK JK or maybe I'm serious we'll see how this Reddit thing goes. So anyway anybody got any advice for me?