What can you even do when you have nothing that brings joy. It’s not like I haven’t tried but no matter what I’m indifferent to everything. What can you do when the only thing you want is a relationship someone to teach what feeling actually mean. But you know it can it never happen you know you can’t feel. You know no one want someone who can’t give them anything. Physical monetary or emotional I know have nothing worth someone fighting for. So I can’t feel much emotion, have no personality and broke and ugly. Why should even try. I’ve kept saying if you hold out long enough something or someone should show up to give me hope. No it’s only getting worse. Only thing that’s happened is I’ve resorted to how I was before all this being. Shut off no emotion no thinking just reacting. Only know the blissful ignorance is gone and now I know I’m worth fuck all. When I die I don’t want want an after life I don’t have a personality to go with me for all of eternity. I just want the nothingness to come. I will be back to square one finally only change is the blissful ignorance will be back