Hey guys, this is honestly just a small rant, I just need to let it out. I always dealt with depression since a very young age, and from what I've noticed (speaking from my experience), it's something that never really goes away, yes you can beat it and start being well again, but in some time it will start looming back. That's what happens to me, it's been 4 years since I stopped being depressed, at least the way that I was, but I've noticed that this last few months I'm very unstable. Don't get me wrong, I have a decent life, I'm young, I have a beautiful wife that loves me, I have 2 cats, we have a house, I dont work for 2 years now (an I think this is one of the main issues) but even without working we live both extremely comfortably and there's really no need for me to work although it's something that I need, I'm not the type of person to just sit still. I also have alot of social anxiety, I'm not an extreme case but I can say that I dread every social interaction I need to have, my hearth races everytime my phone rings and I just can't pick up, if I need to go shopping for example, I spend the whole time thinking about it, I can't relax, I start stressing ALOT, if I go to a cafe sometimes the small interaction of asking for a coffee makes me stressed. I'm not in an awful situation but I've noticed that I'm loosing myself again, I wasn't like this for quiet some time but I'm getting exactly the same way I was when I was at my lowest, I don't enjoy anything, I don't have the willpower to do anything, getting out of bed is starting to require alot of sacrifice and strength, I stopped playing with my cats, I stopped eating, some days I don't eat anything the whole day, and the thoughts of not being worth anything started coming to my head again. It's always a loop, I'm depressed, I say like that, eventually I get better, I live for a bit then get depressed again. I know "all the tricks", I normally exercise to keep me busy, I try to get out of my comfort zone, I write my issues, I try to go out whenever I can to have some fun, but nothing is working now, I'm just empty... And it's starting to affect my relationship with my wife and honestly it's starting to affect my whole life again. I dont want to fall in depression again, I don't know what to do