I used to be someone others would ask for advice or help with stuff. Now I'm just a shadow on the wall. Everything I do and try is never enough for anything or anyone. Even when I do succeed it's only a fluke and someone else could have done it 10x better and faster. At work we have nothing to do but it seems like l'm always the only one getting made fun of for not having any work available.

I have no ambitions anymore and never can think of what to say when someone asks me about my goals in life. I even turned to trying to have mindless and meaningless sex but I'm apparently so repulsive that I can't even find anyone for that either. No matter what I do to maximize my dating app profiles and getting into shape it's never enough. I've been on them for months now with only getting 4 matches total and only having an actual conversation with one person. I'm even getting a tattoo on Friday in hopes that it'll help since the only thing people find attractive is tattoos and nicotine addictions.

I just want to be wanted and useful. I'm so tired of feeling lost and unlovable. I want a goal in life. Something to wake up and work towards every day.

(Repost due to multiple spelling errors)