My family is dead/Dying. My dad is dead. My mom is insane and homeless. My sister is a drug addict has been for years she’s almost 30 :/ she’s been one since 17 so…She’s dead too. My lineage is gone, all distant cousins won’t speak or even help. My family cut ties with them cus they literally did not care about us. We were always the black sheep of the lineage because we were most successful(?)

Distant relatives/ Family got really jealous of the way we lived and just hated it.

So now I’m with my grandfather, what nobody knows. What I know, is that I’m stupid. I’m mentally somethings up cus I can’t do math, and can’t do certain normal things other people do. I’m just a quirk. I’ve got ptsd and extreme paranoia from abuse and distrust. I never developed a social life, was always playing video games. And now I can’t physically talk to people because I can’t perceive how to talk to them. I’m messed up. And i haven’t applied for disability. I know I must because I feel people will hurt me at work for doing things wrong or I’ll get hurt in public or stabbed/ black mailed you name it.

It’s physically awful cus I can’t literally focus or look at people. I feel like The Truman show but everyone wants to hurt me.

The thing is. My grandfathers dying of cancer. I’ve never had a job due to my paranoia, and it’s physically impossible for me to work due to my fear. I will be homeless I’m sure.

But I’m alone soon. All alone the thing I’ve feared worst of all through my whole life coming true. And I missed the chance for everything and now am 22 nothing I have is worth living for after him. Do I do something ?