Why cant i at least just fake it and make it seem like im happy. I hate talking about my emotions let alone acknowledging them. But its impossible to hide from them. Even if i try to suppress my emotions and ignore the depressing thoughts, it still finds a way to show on the surface. I hate it. I cant even wake up without feeling somewhat like crying because i just wanna go back to sleep and stay asleep. There’s so many things i want to do but it all seems like its not possible for me to even try. Why do i have to be here. Everyone says everything happens for a reason, everyone has a purpose in life. Whats my purpose. Coz it seems to me im only here to suffer alone with things that arent even that bad compared to others. And i know i shouldnt compare but its really hard not to. I feel like i shouldnt be complaining or even depressed at all but I am and now im so used to having depression im too scared to not be depressed and anxious and paranoid about everything.