I'm really really struggling to find the strength to keep going on. I've tried distracting myself but it's just not working out lately. I've had an amazing life. Made some incredible memories with some incredible people and I've truly been really lucky. I feel content. I never thought I'd make to to 30 and that's only 6 months away. And you know what I'm still not sure if I'll make it lol. I just hope I've made a few people happy and given them at least a tiny bit of joy. I know I've hurt a lot of people too. Which is probably why I am the way that I am. A self aware doofus. I'm too smart for my own good. I wish I lacked the critical thinking so I can just go about my day not thinking and not remembering.

Ah well. It is what it is innit?! Just wish It was a less of is. Whatever is is.

If anyone else is feeling this way. I hope you find your peace. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.