I honestly don't know what to say, I have been depressed for too long now, and I just feel empty, like I have a hole in my chest where my heart should be that air can blow throw. I just want to love life again, and remember what made 16 yo me happy, I know everything that I need to know about depression, I'm at a constant war inside and it leaves me exhausted, uninterested and this feeling of being in the last place. I just don't want to feel so empty . Sometimes I wish I can be back in my room and not talk to anyone. I just wanna be left alone but I don't wanna feel lonely, I have to fake it everyday...being normal, laugh at stupid jokes , make stupider jokes, and smile, while on the inside I couldn't care less , I hate feeling so stuck all the time , I pushed everyone in my life as far as I can and now that I'm alone and have all the clarity in the world I'm stuck, I have no future, I have no past, I just live in the moment . I just wish I can cry again , I could use one . Now it just hurts in my chest. If you read this thank you ,I'm not really looking for help I just wanted to put some shit off my chest, if you are depressed , plz get professional help, talk to people and try to love yourself bit by bit. Hope y'all have a better day each day for the rest of of your lives.