I consider myself very lucky, I've been blessed with many good things. I always try to look at the bright side, that's just how I am naturally tbh. ever since I was a little kid I remember being very optimistic but my life has been going in decline, I keep trying, and trying, and trying, over and over but it's all the same in the end. It's not that I'm going through a tough situation or anything like that. It's not my outer world but my inner world that has crumbled to pieces and I am afraid I can't put them back together anymore. There's this episode in Doraemon where when he was a little kid his grandma showed him the example of a toy that whenever you push it to the ground it always gets back up. I remember being a little kid and wanting to be like that toy, it's kinda funny actually. If you ask me how it happened I guess shit happens and I just have to take it but I'm just so tired. There's a point where it just feels pointless to keep trying. I am already dead, I'm a dead man walking, aimlessly. For whatever reason you're telling me I have to keep walking? I just want it to end, please. I just want to sleep and never wake up again. I think I've tried enough.