First is there a name for severe depression that last in a short amount of time (within 24 hours) ?
What ignite this spiral was my review at work that I took out of content that lead me to in a negative mood but quickly diminished after an interview of another job (that I declined). The review still bothered me because I'm just aware of my flaws. After managers got their reviews, two managers quit but one left abruptly that left upper management in a stress-mode. During this week, the weather has been gloomy and rainy that just kills my spirit and than there was a birthday dinner that diminish my reason to live. One of the guest at the birthday dinner was expecting her first child in Oct so she has been focal of attention the whole time (not in good way). She was made the night about her and was overly obnoxious and annoying. Of course, everyone is used to her personality that suck out the energy into the room and make it about her. Last night, I left the dinner drained and exhausted mentally that the guest of the dinner noticed it. Of course, I put on smile so I can avoid the attention on me.
I left the dinner to process my emotions and self-anaylze "WTF" is going on with me because I was just not myself. I want on this rant with my brother and he just said "Sound like she was mentally draining" but he couldn't understand why was so annoyed, irritable and moody. Well, the last 24 hours was extremely emotional that I didn't have energy do much. I called off of work that was planned because I was overwhelmed with work. I motivated myself to go to the gym just to get myself out of the funk that I was in. It took me awhile to get out of the door JUST to go the gym. When I got to the gym, I didn't have the energy to lift weights so I went in the hot tub.
Normally, I like being naked especially in a social environment (I'm a nudist). Being naked in the hot tub isn't really something employers approve of the members but members sneak in because they forgot their swimsuit. Anyway, I noticed older man went in naked so I join him and that made me forget I was depressed for awhile. After leaving the gym, I remember I'm not working today because I want to do everything but work. My mind still was bothered of the birthday dinner that left me distracted of my plans today that went back being depressed because I can't focus.
I remember getting frustrated with myself that I can't focus and upset about the weather being gloomy and I called off of work. I thought if I masturbated that would spark the motivation to enjoy this day. As I did that, I was a bit happy that it gave me the motivation to get the errands done for today. Went back home, the depression was back. I contemplated suicided and quitting my job and just wanted to stay in bed. Now the depression subsided.
Do you know what kind of depression that is because it was to intense and I didn't want to live that way.
P.S. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. I just overwhelmed what I went through mentally as this is my first time being mentally drained
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