It's another day that I'm just tired. Is so hard to keep going and getting through another day. The struggle of making money for bills and being alone is so agonizing. I feel like I can keep going if I had one of those but with both its hard. I have no friends and definitely no partner. I've never been in a relationship never been with a girl. Recently I thought I was probably gay or bi and thought about talking to guys but honestly I don't feel it. Not yet at least. I like feminine boys or mtf trans but I just don't know. Then if i am that's like a whole other set of problems. I'm from a conservative southern family who does redneck shit. How the fuck am I gonna tell my family? Can I date a guy? Would I? Would I even have a chance? Apparently no women want me why would guys? Then the money. I relay on my parents for alot but they're struggling just as much. Im so tired of college but im almost done. No body wants for me an internship. I barely have any real bills but I constantly have like 1 dollar in my bank. A SINGLE DOLLAR. I hate asking my parents for gas and food money cuz I know they don't have it either. There so many more questions I have and so much self reflection about my situation and I still feel lost. Then this frustrating feeling of depression just gets in the way. I have a good few days to a few weeks then it just hits me all at once and I feel like literal garbage. People day ranting on reddit helps but it hasn't so far. Idk what to do to keep going. There's so much more to say but I don't feel like typing it out.