I think I've fallen into that truly bottomless pit you can't escape from. I've sunken further and further into it since my early teens. But now the stuff that used to give me some reprieve or distraction doesn't anymore. I'm trying to get diagonosed, but that's a process in and of itself. And even if it all goes well I know pills won't be some silver bullet. And onto that the endless apathy, and cruelty of humanity. And what's the point? I mean really. My best days. Best days. Are getting a few meals in and goin from get up to lie down without crying too much. Best days. I don't have anything else left to lose. My smile is gone. Not the odd one you might pull at some nice food or meme. But my inner smile for life has faded. There's nothing now. Just emptiness.