I lost my job about two weeks ago. I knew in advance bc I was working for a non-profit and we lost funding sooner than we thought we were. I have another job already. Did all this stupid testing for them this week. Waiting to hear back next week for a start date. I really wanted this job and am so excited they picked me but I’m so scared to start.

At my old job I’ve never worked with such a tight knit group of ppl. We were truly a family. I can’t even explain it. I kno I will never work in an environment like that again af that makes me sad.

I come from trauma and I like to learn about ppl as fast as I can so I can learn their triggers so I kno what not to do. Learning a whole new office culture, learning multiple peoples personalities, along with just learning the job is beyond scary and overwhelming to me.

A boy also broke the shit out of my heart a few days ago. This is not the first time he’s done this. I just keep giving him chances to hurt me like a fuck head.

I’m acting happy when I’m out and about with people but honestly I don’t even want to hangout with ppl rn and I’m a total extrovert. It’s just too much energy that I don’t have. My bedrooms a mess it became my depression dungeon. I’m not taking care of the things I need to take care of.

I don’t want to go back down this dark rabbit hole. I don’t kno if I’ll make it back out alive again if I go down there. Plz help. What should I do? How can I help myself before it’s too late?