Trigger warning : mention of self harm, self hate and suicide

Whenever any minor inconvenience happens in the day, whenever a problem or a fight happens, especially with my parents, I always feel an unbearable amount of anger, want to cry and scream, want to hurt myself so much, and repeat in my head “ i hate myself i wanna kill myself i hate this world i hate this life, i hate me i hate myself”

Even though in normal circumstances, i never think so, nor want so,

I find no one to run to, everyone either is not here, gives me a lecture, or accuses me of being too gloomy or annoying or exaggerating everything when we’re all here okay and normal, or worse, that im trynna put the blame on then for everything and that im crazy.

Im lonely and have been so for years, i hate this, i wish im loved