I (39m) have a job that I love but I'm not good enough for and probably going to get fired in the next week or so. I also don't make enough to live on my own but can't work another job as the pain I'm in.

I have a gf(37f) (been together since 2019) but its on the rocks with her and I would be surprised if we make it another month or so.

I've started cutting again and really freaked my gf out. She didn't know that I did until recently.

I have several TBIs (traumatic brain injuries) and live with a constant headache. I also get frequent migraines. Yet another reason I will probably get fired soon for as I miss a lot of work as a result.

My blood pressure is high. Average is 182/100. My pulse is racing all the time. Average is 90.

I have psoriatic arthritis and psoriasis really bad. About 2/3rds of my body is covered in sores. I'm always itchy and can't stop scratching.

I am also in so much pain everyday (a solid 6 to 8) that it's hard to even move a lot of the time. I miss quite a bit of work due to this.

I'm not dumb but it seems to take me 10 time as long to learn something. This is the main reason I'm probably going to get fired.

I have a 12 year old son that lives in another state that to be honest I could care less about. I know it's terrible to feel that way but I do.

What's the point? I have no friends, no family. Almost no one gives a shit about me. I have struggled with depression since I was about 13.

I also have ptsd from several different tramas.

I can almost never sleep. And when I finally get to sleep, I sleep so much my gf hates it.

I'm starting to fear going out in public. There's just way to many idiots and I can't handle it and always end up blowing up at someone. I fear one day I won't be able to control myself and I'm gonna hurt someone badly.

I really am thinking about just giving up. I don't understand why I should keep going.