My mind is either thinking about work 40% of the time and 20 % of the time my mind it just all over the place and the rest of the 40% of the time I'm thinking about putting a gun to my head or I already have in to my head then I think about how I can't do that right now because of the burden and trauma it would give to someone in particular. Then I just sit and plan for the day that I will be able to actually pull the trigger. I hate how much I think about killing myself I miss being happy I miss having distractions I also wish u would have killed myself in the second grade when I tried for the first time then none of this would have happend I never wouldhave hurt anyone else or myself. I wish I could go back and just have done it. Just stop it all from ever being a possibility.