My whole life has been sad I moved away from my friends and dad before the first grade to not see them for the next 12 years then countless relationship issues mainly being cheated on I moved to Tennessee for my girlfriend once and was broken up with withing 6 months then after years of feeling useless stupid and ugly I finnaly found someone that made me feel special we had an open relationship because either didn't want to be cheated on I just wanted wanted know what was happening and that I was loved and after 2 years and moving to Oregon I fucked it all up and we still live together I've always wanted wanted end it but never do because I can't imagine how my mother would feel or now my issue is that we have dogs together and I still pay for the rent in the house we both live in and I know she couldn't afford it on her own. I keep telling myself after the lease is up in a year I'm gonna just do it when she finally moves out and takes the dogs. That way I'm not burdening anyone directly. She is still the person who will get my life insurance. It's the only way now I feel I can give her the life and house in the woods she's always wanted. I wish I would have ending it the first time I tried In the second grade. I hope this doesn't get removed but if it does it does. I hope nobody ever has to feel the way I do.