Nothing really works. You take pills for years for your whole life you’re in therapy until your 50s maybe later. I might as well die. I want to not need pills not need to sit and talk for someone for 45 minutes then go home and feel like shit again. I’m tired I know it takes a long time and I don’t care! I need help now! I need money now! I need a job! I can’t wait several years for these things I’ll be dead before then homeless or who knows life is short I can’t wait to be normal or healed.

I’m tired of waiting I was abused for years getting no help and now I need to wait several more years to receive help it’s bullshit. I’m not waiting anymore. I waited until the beginning of January 2022! I was sexually abused for years before that! I’m not going to wait anymore.

If I wait to long it’ll be to late. That’s why I want to get a job that’s why I’m so hard on myself for not having one for still leaving with my mom for not knowing what I want to do if I take to long it’ll be to late.

I guess you can’t rush healing though can you it doesn’t happen instantly. I guess it’s already to late to live a normal life. What am I supposed to do? I will not wait anymore! I might end up taking myself out.