obviously I'm not going to do it but how much more of this life can I take? Everyday its just waking up to fight off the same bullshit. Go to work, eat , sleep and repeat. Nothing matters. Everything I do just sucks. I even failed to get help for my depression with a therapist and I'm to scared to go on meds. I feel like I'm coming near to my breaking point. I have already had a suicide attempt 5 years ago, I tried overdosed on a bunch of sleep pills and I couldn't even do that right. I'm constantly oppressed, I'm lame, I don't have high spirts like the rest. I wish I could disappear. I don't want to leave my cat behind, I wish there was some way I could take my cat with me. I don't want to disappoint my sister she's all the family I got left. I'm so young yet so old at the same time, I feel like I've seen to much in life and I've grown sick of it.

Today would be a great day to die. Its early morning out and all is quite. I live by myself thankfully so I wouldn't have to worry about being found for some time at least and my job will just think I quit if I don't show up for work. I don't know if I'd rather try to overdose again like last time or just jump off the bridge that I see everyday on my way home from work. I don't know life just gets a little to much sometimes. I've been suffering with depression since the age 7/8, nothing gets better. Ever.