i started antidepressant at 15, i'm now 17. 2 years is so little time. i didn't see it pass, but i spend those 2 years fighting. fighting my ass off to continue school, fighting my ass of to just eat, to just get up in the morning, to just fucking live. i missed a full school year because of this shitty illness that has officially ruined whatever life i had before. my oh so perfect friends just left me behind. a depressed gay kid barely passing their classes and who is a year behind is not a good fit for them. i used to be a student with good grades, fuck it, excellent grades. i'm nothing now. i don't have friends irl, i don't have friends online. now that i go to class we pretend like nothing ever happened at home. my dad is less stressed, my mom is happy at her job. i'm just here. I wish i had something physical, at least people would have sympathie. now i just make everyone uncomfortable because i'm not a person anymore, just a shell. i feel miserable.