I’ve been socializing more with some actually pretty quality humans. But often feel I’m just not getting enough, as I need so much. Just in need of so much love, attention, listening. Getting even a small glimpse of that but not nearly enough makes the darkness afterward even worse. I even question if what I want is possible, or if it is just too much. Was the only appropriate time to need this much limited to childhood? I’m working so hard in group therapy and even a part time job, but it takes everything I have just to maintain the status quo. I just want to be held and seen and cry for days, months, years until the poison leaves my system.