TW: sexual coercion / emotional abuse

I’ve struggled with depression for as long as I can remember, and grew up in an environment where mental health wasn’t a thing. 33F, to help with context.

Just recently I’ve told my daughters father (who I’ve been with for 13 years, but never married) that I have finally hit my rock bottom, and we have to split. The reasons can be chalked up to, in casual conversation, “personality differences”. Behind closed doors it’s been years of sexual coercion and emotional abuse.

I had gotten to the point where I sit home and do nothing all day (aside from caring for my daughters emotional well being, and working 9-5) while he cooks, cleans, and shops. He does these things with the expectation he’s owed sex. When he doesn’t get his way it’s hours of him screaming me at me, claiming the victim, and throwing temper tantrums (heavy sighs, slamming cabinets, not even looking at me, etc.). When I do try to take over with household tasks, he stands over my shoulder and tells me what I’m doing wrong and how to do it “the right way”.

I’m worn down. He’s a good dad, so I’m granting him the grace to get a place and on his feet. Our daughter can’t be in a good place unless he’s in a good place, and she loves him so much.

I can’t wait for this to be over. Absorbing whatever positive energy I can get.