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Day 5 & 6

Today...well, today sucked...two steps forward, one step back...

TL;DR: The pain from my sores won't stop, my bottoms seem to jut out too far, headaches are driving me crazy. Chewing no longer works

Woke up at 3AM with a horrendous headache. I've had TMJD over half of my life and the lack of a good resting spot for my mouth is causing extra strain on my jaws, causing serious tension headaches. I down a hydro as well as some tension headache medication and try to go back to sleep. I think I doze between 8 and 9 when my alarm finally goes off to get ready for work. I figured I'd give myself more time since I gotta go through all the setup for getting my dentures ready and to be put in. I try the suggestion about putting in two Seabond strips in the lower to see if that would pack it any tighter. It's no good, I realize my lower denture is making me feel like Marlon Brando in the Godfather with that mouthpiece he had to wear. I realize it's making the area below my bottom lip (is there an actual name for that spot?) stick out rather far. I can't remember if it's always like that or if it's because I put in two strips. I try to make do with that.

Now comes the upper. And the upper is where I'm getting the major sores that I can't seem to put enough Benzocaine on to numb the main spot. I finally suck it up (heh, again) and try to get the top in place. I have blinding pain in my head, bad enough I nearly need to throw up or I'm close to passing out. Again, I tell myself this is just growing pains, it's most likely supposed to be like this, I go back on the 24th for adjustments, reliner(s), what not. I keep just trying to tell myself I have to deal with it like this, the sore will callous over soon, just like the inside of my mouth did when I had braces. So I still don't call Aspen, thinking I can deal with it. Ice packs to the face still help a great deal.

My ability to chew has gone backwards as well. I technically have four sores at the front of my mouth, and when I attempt to bite down, my top ones rub. I don't know what to do for breakfast, I'm in a hurry to jump on and get to work with my coworkers (we're all working from home). I don't have time to fix much of anything to eat, and I don't know how to make the creamy eggs my husband made, so I decide on a smoothie and a piece of chocolate pie. I'm sure you guys have come up with some weirder soft foods to eat and drink.

I finally get on and start work, it's thankfully a slower day. I think I only had to be on the phone with one person, and I apologized beforehand because I can't enunciate very well. We have our daily Zoom meeting with webcams and this is always the best part of the day, seeing my favorite coworkers/friends. It's our time to blow off steam with each other, fill each other in on work projects and just shoot the shit for a bit. I look at myself in Zoom and yeah, my bottom seems to be jutting out really far and this is the first time my coworkers have seen me with my new teeth. No one says anything but that's because they're more like family than anything. I just know I don't want to have to be on the phone to users since I'm still having a hard time speaking and enunciating. I end up having to be on a phone call later in the day but they don't really say anything about my speaking ability, I think I'm just very self conscious.

I'm finally off for the day and my husband makes me a small tuna steak that was from the freezer, and I mix together the last of my Stovetop & mashed potatoes. And the tuna smells so good, he cooks it kinda rare for me. I sit on the couch to eat it and....I can't. It hurts too freaking much. Trying to move the back of the dentures to masticate doesn't seem to work and just rubs the sores even more. I can eat my stuff/mashed potato mix just fine, no chewing there, but I can't bite through the tuna. I try smaller and smaller pieces, and suddenly the frustration level hits me HARD and I breakdown crying. I'm so upset, I just want to eat some solid food and I can't, and it hurts my heart. My husband hugs me and offers to maybe cool the tuna longer so that it's flaky but I tell him no, I don't think that'll be any kind of improvement. I cry it out for about 10 minutes before I feel better, especially because I know if I cry any more than that, my head, which already hurts, and I've taken a hydro as well as tension headache meds and they don't seem to be doing squat. My bottom is still floating, even with two strips in it and I finally just pull it out and remove the strips. I put the bottom back in and find it's still painful, so I get up and at least go put one Seabond strip back in and that makes it a bit more comfortable, but I'm still in a ton of pain. I finally agree to get up when my husband gets up in the morning to give Aspen a call, I don't think I can keep dealing with this until the 24th, my next official appointment.

I'm able to distract myself for some hours on the computer, try to do anything I can to ignore the pain that is my mouth. My husband tries to come in and kiss me but even kisses hurt when the press against my lips affects the stores and I have to tell him to be a bit more gentle. I nearly want to break down again due to the frustration but I try to stave it off. I finally head to bed around midnight - long day, technically 3AM to midnight but I needed to do something since even sometimes sleeping is causing me extra pain. I managed to wrap one of my heating pads around my neck to try to loosen up the muscles through there. They feel overly tight so I take some muscle relaxers before bed, as well as my nightly cocktail for insomnia. Even in pain, I thankfully fall asleep fast, which is a blessing.