Ok… I don’t know. For me, physical attraction matters. If I see someone and I’m not attracted to them, there is no future relationship. I’m either physically attracted, or I’m not, regardless of personality.

If there’s physical attraction, I then move on to check for chemistry, see if a friendship can develop. Do we get along? Is it fun? Do we laugh? Is the vibe nice? Am I mentally stimulated by this person? Do I prefer to be around this person than alone with my own company?

If all of those things are present, and continue to progress over time… then maybe we can be in a relationship. But it takes time.

I would only be willing to sleep with someone if there was an emotional bond. But, I can also recognize a developing sexual attraction towards someone I’m getting to know, absent of a secured emotional bond (I don’t have sexual fantasies about them, but it’s moreso a recognition of their sex appeal, I guess?). As an example: an attractive woman who I spend time with may be sexually desirable, as in she doesn’t repel me, but I would not actually sleep with her absent of an emotional bond. But if there’s (a) physical attraction and (b) some sort of positive interaction, I can have the acknowledgement of “damn she’s sexy.” But it stops there and I’ve never thought these things of strangers or celebrities. My goal in said situations would never be to sleep with this person, but to build an authentic connection and see if an emotional bond formed.

Now, when I read this subreddit I see a lot of people saying that physical attraction doesn’t matter, if there’s an emotional bond then the physical stuff follows. But others say physical attraction absolutely does matter to them. Are both of these experiences just on a scale that falls under the demisexual umbrella?