Backstory, my grand-uncle just died and I never really expected to have to attend his funeral today. We weren't really that close, just met a couple of times during family gatherings. I don't know if it's just some sort of hyper-empathy or if my diagnosed depression is playing a part to this but I couldn't help but sob uncontrollably over his life.

He was a well beloved person and generally seemed to be such a selfless and genuine man. I'm just so messed up over the fact that he passed on because he was showing up to serve in their church despite being very ill, refused to get treatment, and self-medicated because he didn't want to get hospitalized again and have the family shoulder the costs.

My aunts found his search history about medication for difficulty breathing. I'm just a bit shaken up over the fact that he was so happy and well the last time I saw him and now he's gone.

I'm getting really sidetracked and this feels like a long rant but I really wish I hadn't gone, I've been to three funerals this year. I'm still processing the death of friends that I had at school.

I'm just really scared that anyone I know could be gone at any moment.

RIP