Burner account of course

23(M) I’ve been in a relationship with my 22 (F) college sweetheart for 3 years now. When we first got together she was a virgin and I had little experience. We were having sex a lot because she felt like she had to win me over. She then talked about some of her experiences and trauma. I am supportive and made sure not to overstep boundaries.

We had a talk about slowing down so she won’t feel that way to help with her past trauma. I did not know it would slow to a crawl like this. I graduated college and we moved to a new town for the last 6 months. We’ve had a dead bedroom for a majority of the relationship. I’ve always brought up the problem and how I feel unwanted. The talks never go well has I always end up being the bad guy or wanting to much. I have my faults and I’m open to communication . My partner works a lot and our schedules often conflict. She comes home and is always tired or saying some part of her body hurts.

I’m at my breaking part but I’m comprised as our lease doesn’t end till end of summer. Im having dreams about just being intimate with random girls I don’t even know. The idea of moving out and just living alone looks better and better by the day. As we know however in this economy gathering funds to move out and get own place isn’t possible on my current budget. I just feel like I’m trying my best and working on myself and the house and not being appreciated in my love language. Every other part of the relationship is good but I can’t get past this. Im not expecting an every day thing or even every week but we go months without any intimacy.

She has seen then told me more trauma I previously didn’t know about. I feel overwhelmed because my love language is massages and ass grabs. Hers is acts of kindness like taking her into consideration when I do house work. I’ve agreed to improve that part of relationship. These last few months I’ve been doing great and she even has gave me praise. However when I try to initiate or talk she often saids “just because you vacuum doesn’t mean I’m going to drop my panties”.

Reading these stories gives me so much hope. I used to think I was some sex crazed monsters and even looked into some counseling. She often stated that her trauma is not her fault and breaking up with her over it would be awful. She’s really good at making me look like the bad guy in any situation. Any advice helps I’m at the point where Im not interested in initiating because I’ve been getting shot down past 5-6 months .