My wife (37f) and myself (38m) have grown to having completely opposite ideas of sex. Like normal, sex was great and often the first year or two together. It quickly became not often at all ever since. We have been together for 12 years. I love her and try my best to make her happy and comfortable in life. We have two kids (4 and 6), and that will slow things for multiple reasons.

She never initiates anything. I’m always made out to be a dirt bag whenever I initiate. When we do have sex once or twice a month, she lays there and handles it as a chore. I always make it good for her with oral, touching, etc. and I still can’t make her want me anymore. It’s always vanilla, which is fine. But it is a painful experience for both of us, I am sure.

Not only is she lacking in sex but zero love and affection are ever shown to me. I give as much as I can for nothing in return. I’ve grown cold and sad. We rarely kiss. She’s my best friend but that’s all I see anymore.

We talk about it, and it’s weak excuses that I’ve heard for years now. This has been a vocalized issue for me for 4 years now. I feel disrespected and not appreciated. I’m struggling to give more, just knowing I’ll get shut down every time.

I mean, I always eat her pussy and giver her orgasom but she hasn't suck my dick in like 4 years. I honestly don’t remember what they’re like. I’m horny 100% of my time around her, and she knows this. To fulfil my needs, I masturbate she knows that too. But it doesn't bother her, makes me mad because I’m looking at other girls. I have asked her for pictures, videos, dirty talk, but nothing.

What shall I do? Finally, I have posted, looking for Ap. I don't know what to do..