I’m a married 44m HL husband to a 44f LL wife. We have 2 kids, both teenagers. Both of us had Christian religious upbringing, mine was less traditional and my parents openly talked about sex. Her family was super repressed.

About 10 years ago, a few years after the birth of our son, sex stopped in our household. She’s never been able to orgasm, docs say she’s fine, just repressed in her mind.

2020 I made a full court press: she always blamed me for being so busy. But in the lockdowns: What else was there to do? By late 2020, we were back to no sex. I stupidly had an online discussion with a woman and we had a fake relationship for a few months, and my wife found out. But my wife understood that the dead bedroom didn’t help. We patched things up. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving 2021 was the last time we had sex.

We’ve had “the talk” many times, and every time it’s the same response: she has sexual thoughts, but it’s acting on them that’s rough. Not only does she struggle with sexual intimacy, but our communication sucks.

I feel trapped. I worry that a divorce will drain my finances, rob me of time with my kids, and alienate from them long term.

To those who’ve stayed - how do you cope? To those who’ve divorced - how is it? Do you regret? Wish you did it sooner?