Well, there it is. I left and it's been a huge relief.

I've never posted about my situation here before, just lurked and commented from time to time. I am a HLM and my wife has been a LLF. I had been a DB for more than 12 years. Lots of sex before we got married, slowed down after we got married and then stopped. We seemed to get along for the most part besides that, but she just changed a bit. I would try to initiate and would be told not to touch her. I'd ask her what was wrong and was told I always do this at the wrong time. I told her that all the time seems like the wrong time. I eventually stopped initiating and then nothing happened. She is a wonderful person (for tge most part - but there were some other things that we just didn't align on), I would do anything for now, I love her very much, but after 21 years of marriage and 4 previous years dating I just couldn't take it anymore. I moved closer to aging family.

Now, I have a very close friend who is a FWB. Regular sex has changed my life for the better, for sure. Do I feel bad leaving? Yes. However, when I think about what if I had stayed...I can't imagine continuing the DB situation. As silly as it sounds, I miss my cats the most.

I am not writing this to say that everyone should do this. Everyone's situation is different. But it is jncredible to open up sexually again. The good/weird thjng about my long situation is that it seems to have created a bit of a monster. Having to have taken care of myself for so long, I'm like a sex crazed teenage boy again, at 54, but have more extreme tastes. A very kinky side has emerged! My fwbs and I even went to a sex club recently! Didn't do anything with anyone, just watched, but it is amazing to feel free.