I used to be in good shape. I've always been a very stocky and muscular individual, with very little fat contributing to my weight. At 5'11 I usually hovered around 215 lbs, until 23 years old. At some point in that year of my life I had hit 303 lbs. I got annoyed with the weight and dropped down to 230 lbs and was happy with it. However, as I neared my 27th birthday I was back to 320 something. Again, I wasn't happy with it and I dropped the weight down to 235. I kept the weight off until after my 30th birthday, shortly after my son was born. I became overwhelmed with father hood, work, my marriage, bills, and the list goes on. I slowly gained weight until I reached 352 lbs, developing sleep apnea, serious acid reflux, and various aches and pains. Then one summer I watched a video with some crazy fuck jogging and some other ridiculously jacked dude looking like a bull dog. David Googins and Jocko Willink. I got some motivation and dropped my weight to 298 lbs. I was feeling good and motivated. But of course motivation doesn't last forever and i gained weight again.

Now at 34 years old, almost 35, I weighed in at 317 lbs, all my previous issues were coming back stronger then before. I was in a dark place, at this point I wasn't looking for motivation, I was simply wallowing in my own self pitty and fear. Then something snapped in my mind and all I could think of was one thing. I needed to break the control of this weak willed and weak minded fool that had high jacked my body and mind.

I began on 4/08/2023, standing at 5' 11" and weighing 317 lbs. I may eventually write more but today, 04/27/2023, I weigh 303 lbs. My body is sore, my legs hurt, I have blisters on my feet, I'm constantly sweating, hungry, and tired. And I have never felt better. My friends and family say I should ease up, take a day off, rest a bit, its ok to have a cheat day. But I refuse to give in. I feel tired, so I go for run. My arms hurt, so I do more push ups, pull ups, tricep dips, and dead hangs. My feet and knees hurt and are swollen, so I put on compression gear and fucking run harder. I don't know how far I am willing to take this but I do know I wont stop until I have brought my mind and body back into my control. Which means I need to find the dark places in my mind where that weak, soft ass bitch, that currently controls everything, lives. If that means I need to break my body and mind to find it, then so be it. When I find it, I'm going to dive in, grab the sack of shit and make him submit.

I post this not for praise or self motivation. I post this in the hope that it can motivate others. That someone else will see this and decide for themselves to do the same. To help myself stay accountable with like minded individuals.