(I am 32F and the guy in this post I'm writing about is 36M - I posted about him before but here is the update as there will be no more on my end)

Dating is hard... and has been for me since I've intentionally been trying to date with seriousness for a year and a half. A few months ago, I decided to reach out to a guy I had two dates with in January. In January, I decided to prematurely just end things before they really began because I just wasn't feeling it. However, a few months ago (where I was struggling to get a date lol) I thought about the guy from January and thought "you know he actually ticks a lot of boxes and he is what I am looking for on paper, maybe I'll give it another shot".

I ended up reaching out to him a few months and he texted back after ten minutes saying he would like to see me but right now he has interviews coming up and he needs to focus on landing this job. I said that's totally fine, no rush. A week goes by he updates me he needs a few more days to know if he gets the job or not. Then, he texts saying after a few days that he didn't get the job. I texted a supportive text then didn't hear from him for a few days. He said he wanted to meet me for coffee. I actually posted about this when it happened. TLDR from that date is he rescheduled and pushed back the date three times and when the date finally arrived he stood me up but in actuality (this is what he said happened) he fell asleep for 17 hours straight and his phone was in the other room. We talked the next day and he told me verbatim "I don't want to date right now. I need to land a job first. I want us to be friends and to keep in contact like we have been if that's okay with you." I said, sure, we can be friends.

Some important background information: After we met in January, two weeks later he got fired. Since then he has been unemployed. His grandfather shortly after getting fired passed away. He then got into some family issues with his mom that turned into his whole family not speaking with him and cutting him off. He was texting friends he was suicidal (but he claims he didn't actually want to kill myself and that he was only venting) and low and behold the cops show up at his place and he tells them he's fine it was a misunderstanding. All of these things have been happening in his life, so I made the assumption after we spoke on the phone about all of these things that he's just not someone I would want to date because I feel he has a lot going on in his life in terms of employment, family relationships, depression, and grief.

So we were keeping in contact. He would inquire about my dating life. I would tell him "Yeah I have a date coming up on Saturday" for example. He would then ask how it went, and that particular date I didn't feel like I wanted a second date but to be friends with this guy instead. Our conversations via text were okay but then at one point he kept texting very negative texts about how bad his life is, all these jobs not hiring him, his family not speaking with him, etc. I felt like I was becoming his therapist (that's what my job is as well) and I was getting stressed reading so much negativity. So I kindly texted a boundary about this and asked if he could send positive texts moving forward. He ignored the text and kept texting as usual but finally omitted the negativity.

Then he asked last week Friday "Date tonight?" and I'm not sure how he knew I had another date coming up but I said "No, Saturday night". He then proceeded to text and this is exactly what he texted "Ok well Lmk when you want to stop being disappointed and go on a sure fire enjoyable date 👏" I didn't reply back. He texted me five more texts throughout the next days and I finally responded back to when he said "Hope you have a nice date tonight". I responded "Thanks. We'll see how it goes." He then texts me something that unsettled me saying "It is hurtful that you would rather go on blind dates than see me once" I explain that's not fair to say to me and that I am busier than I was in January. My schedule has changed. He then says "So if we go out and you end up falling for me, I am supposed to just be cool with you putting me like shit in line over this period to figure that out." I ask him what he means by this and he says "I mean, I’m a highly desirable cash. It would have taken five minutes in person for you to realize that. But now it’s all these dates I just don’t think I’m interested anymore. Sorry." First off, I was not interested at any point after he stood me up. Then I let him know that we did have a date but it didn't go as planned and how he wanted to only be friends and not date right now. He then says this "Enjoy your date. Hope you get laid 🤗" to which I got very offended and said I'm not looking to get laid and I replied "And I will enjoy my date. And I hope you can be more congruent with what you say and how you behave. You telling me you don’t want to date and be friends then now this. It’s confusing. You should make up your mind for what you really want and voice it." then I saw that the bubble text was typing so I knew he was going to keep texting so I texted "Please don’t text me right now. I’m really in a mood right now after reading what you’ve been saying." Then I saw him still typing so I just, without warning, blocked him. I didn't say I was going to block him. I didn't give him a heads up. I just did it.

I am so confused by his reaction with me. First he was unloading all of his struggles on me and being very negative for months after our failed date attempt. I tried to be supportive and uplifting but that clearly didn't work. I asked him if he wanted to date and he said NO and that he ONLY wanted to be friends with NOTHING more and he repeated this several times. Was I leading him on or something? Was me being supportive and still replying to his texts giving him the wrong impression? Is this how men that are 36 typically act? Was I justified in just blocking him without warning? I guess what I've learned is to leave someone that's in the past in the past and to have better boundaries with people but especially guys.

He was not like the way he was behaving in January. My gut did tell me something was off, I wished I listened to it and didn't reach out back to him. Has this happened to anyone else where you are strictly friend zoned then they can't handle you seeing other people and going on dates? Is that even fair for him to suddenly say that he's interested and that because I'm dating he's no longer interested (when I definitely wasn't for a while now)?

Should I unblock him and explain to him how he is coming across or just keep him blocked since I definitely do not plan on keeping in touch with him?