So I’ve been back at going on dates. Been on three first dates (one second date) in the past month or so. I did meet someone organically two weeks ago but I haven’t reached out (we have each other’s numbers).

So on these dates, the guys are attracted to me and we have good conversations. But on my end, I’m feeling little to no attraction. It’s been this way for the most part where I am the one ending the possibility of a second date or more dates. I did briefly date two guys this year, the first I dumped the second I got dumped.

Is it normal going on dates but feeling no attraction most of the time? I have had some dates I felt it. Just the vast majority it hasn’t clicked. Been about 30-35 dates overall in 18 months. I do get these guys and find their photos attractive on dating apps. But in person it’s not clicking. For the most part. Do I need to go on 50 dates? Is it a numbers game? Or am I way too unrealistic and picky or does this happen to everyone? Am I subconsciously sabotaging these dating experiences? Do I have too high expectations with attraction? I do look for a nice voice in person, good mannerisms, good conversation, etc. so not just how they look.

Also, no I’m not asexual and I’ve had a few hookups.

TLDR: I’m not feeling physical attraction on dates but only sometimes and I’m not sure if it’s a me problem or that I’m just going on dates with the wrong guys for me.

Feedback, insight, advice all welcome (please be kind). Thanks for reading.

Edit: I go into dates with an open mindset and think if it as a chance to have a good time and meet someone new. That’s been my new philosophy. I have low expectations as well. I don’t go in thinking “he’d gotta be the one”. I am more practical and realistic about dating now especially in the past 4-6 months.

Edit 2: So I took people’s advice about FaceTiming before a first date is set up. I just did so with someone I’ve been getting to know and it went really well and I’m very attracted to him, so this is a good start! And he agreed right away to FaceTime. Conversation naturally flowed and we talked for almost 2 hours. I’m excited for our date on Saturday. Still keeping expectations realistic.