To begin, I (32F) went on two dates in early January with a 35M. I wasn’t sure if I was connecting with him romantically and he also was very talkative but to the point I couldn’t get a word in. I wasn’t sure if it was nerves or what but I didn’t give it enough time to see.

He texted me after the second date (he gave me a soft kiss goodbye) and said how he wished he kissed me earlier and how he’s attracted to me etc. I took some time (about 2-3 hours) to reply back and said I wanted to focus on myself and not date right now but it was nice meeting him and he’s a great guy. He texted back a long text saying he understood and if I needed anything only to reach out and he’ll help in any way he can.

Fast forward to about three weeks ago. I was thinking about him a few months ago and debated on whether or not to reach out. I did three weeks ago and he texted back after 10-15 minutes and said he’s really busy with a possible new job position but to table meeting up and trying again once he knows more. I waited over a week he lets me know he didn’t get the job offer. After a few days he asks when I’m free to meet so we scheduled for a coffee date this past Friday. On Friday he texts and asks if we could push it from 4:30 to 6. At 5 he calls and asks if we can meet around 8/8:30. By 7 he texts me he had a stressful day and his dog is sick and he can’t meet and if we can meet on Sunday instead. So we decided to reschedule to Sunday for coffee. He texted last night how he’s looking forward to seeing me today with a smiley face.

I text that I’m on my way today. No response. I get there and order my coffee ask if I should order for him. No response. At 2:50pm, I decide to leave. No response. It’s now 3:30pm an hour after we were supposed to meet and no text or calls from him. I did call him while at Starbucks, no response but did not go straight to voicemail and my texts all delivered.

I have never been stood up ever before. We texted on Saturday as well. And he let me know on the phone call on Friday that he really wants to see me. I’m not sure what happened or if an emergency happened but I feel gutted especially because I was really excited to reconnect with him as he does have a lot I am looking for in a partner and I know I cut him off prematurely earlier in the year. Maybe this was his payback to me for not really giving him a chance, I don’t know.

I’m kind of bummed right now and I hope this doesn’t happen to me in the future.

Edit: He just texted me apologizing that he slept all day and had his phone in the other room. He said he still wants to see me but he’s very unhappy in his life right now and that he actually told his family he was so happy I reached out again. We are still in a conversation. I have to I guess address if he’s in the right space to date and what to do going from here.. he said he’s exhausted and he needed this day apparently to recharge. I don’t know.

Edit 2: He called me last night and talked all about his job and interviews and life and basically everything that’s contributing to his depression and it took about 40 min until we talked about “us”. He said right now he can’t date but if he secures and lands a job he would instantly want to date. He asked me to wait for him to figure things out. I texted him a long text before he called saying that I’m not really waiting around and might explore my options. He said he wants to continue keeping in contact and see what happens with his employment. To be fair to him, he has had multiple bad or negative things happen in the past six months so I understand but I’m unsure if I want to pursue anything further even if he gets a job and feels better. I am talking to someone else right now too and we might plan to meet next week. The phone call was well over an hour and it was a lot to think about. Questioning how he handles stress is one of my biggest concerns.