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37m here. I have always gone on dates not expecting sex and more specifically thinking there would be no sex since it was a first date. The 1 or 2 times that sex did happen on a date, I was kind of not ready. I felt I was put on the spot and had performance anxiety even though I was totally cool with having sex. My question is about how you mentally go into a date. Do you already assume there will be no sex or do you hope that there will be? My thinking is that if I go into the date with the mindset that there might be sex, I won't be caught off guard because my mindset and hormones will me more ready.
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