I'm dating with the intention of finding a long-term relationship, which is honestly a nightmare. (Not that I need to tell any of you that.) My intentions are pretty clear on my profiles and I also mention it when/if it comes up in conversation with a match.

Although the overwhelming majority of men I meet don't seem to know what they're looking for, I occasionally encounter a man who is too enthusiastic, like inappropriately so. Eventually, I learn that he's just out of a relationship, or recently divorced, or has never been single for very long, and/or his ex was overbearing/abusive and called all the shots in their relationship.

The vibe I get is that he's uncomfortable being alone and is excited when a woman--any woman--takes an interest in him. I love that feeling of mutual excitement when you have a great date with someone, but these dudes often don't really know anything about me. They don't ask questions, or they turn every conversation back to themselves. So it's clear that they're excited about the concept of me rather than my actual personhood.

At the same time, I also know that I tend to go through dating in a really methodical way, almost approaching it like a job. I'm at a place in my life where I know what I want and I'm not interested in spinning my wheels with someone who is uncertain or on a different path. As a result, I worry that I sometimes make decisions about people too quickly.

So my question for you is...how do you determine whether someone is genuinely interested in YOU rather than just eager to get into a relationship with the first person who shows up?