I got broken up with in mid-December. We'd been dating since August but had history going back to December 2020. It's been hard on me because I think we were great together and did not want to break up. I know he had been unsure for a few weeks so the break-up wasn't entirely out of the blue. I can't help but think he genuinely would like to be with me but thinks he needs to be 100% sure that he wants to be with me long term. He last two relationships had wild passion at the beginning and ended in toxic messes. We had more of a "quiet comfort" vibe and I think he worried that meant something was wrong.

Regardless, he made his choice and I need to move on. We work together and I'm fine with that. If he needs to speak to me professionally or in a polite co-worker way that's fine. The problem is he keeps reaching out as a "pal."

Directly after the break-up he didn't contact me or speak to me at all but after a few weeks we met to discuss a few things. After that he tried to act very friendly with me in work. He stopped me for a chat, he text me to tell me stuff about his day, he even left me baked-goods on my desk. Eventually I sent him a long message explaining how painful it was for him to try to be my friend especially as I explicitly told him friendship was not an option for me right now. He said he understood. That was 2 days ago and he's just text me again to check in on me. He's told me that he misses my friendship and thinks we had a connection. That's cool but he hurt me and I still have feelings for him so being around him is just not helpful for me. How can I make him understand that?