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Dating without fear of heartbreak?
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I have limited relatioship experience. I got into my first relationship at 21. Before that people had told me that relationships weren't all they were cracked up to be but despite not even being particularly interested in this guy I LOVED having a boyfriend. After a few months I realised I shouldn't be with someone I didn't have feelings for but I was a bit devesated to let go of the relationship.

Flash-forward about a year and I met my ex. Things were great I'd never been happier. But I needed to move away for work and he refused to come with me. Long term I wanted marriage and kids and he wasn't sure he wanted those things. The break-up was mutual and pretty amicable. But I was completely crushed. Going back to being alone was so hard. Though at the time I would have said I was over him after about 6 months I don't think I actually recovered for closer to 2 years.

I've been single now for close to seven years. I hate it. I've dated lots of people but I tend to let them go very quickly (or they me). I can't cope with the thought of getting used to having someone in my life for them just to be gone. I run at the mental calculations as soon as possible and if I see an end, I'm out.

But now I'm talking to someone who I don't really see an end with but I can't stop trying to find one or convincing myself I'm just happier alone. It's not that he doesn't have flaws or that I'm head over heels in love or anything. But we want the same things in life for the most part, have similar world views, get on well and are attracted t each other... and I'm terrified. All I can think is that we'll date for a couple of years and I'll be so, so happy but for some reason it'll end and it'll be just like before but worse. Is this normal?

How can I get over this and just enjoy what I have going on???

EDIT: Thanks for the responses so far guys. I think I struggle with it particularily because I'm not and anxious person in other areas of life and happy to go with flow but relationships are very different...

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3 years ago