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I'm going through a 2nd divorce right now. Don't worry, I'm ok, although it took some time for me to get here. (anxiety and constantly rising blood pressure are a BITCH, especially when your intelligent side of your brain knows better.) Anyways, I sat down with my ex to discuss what went wrong. We each said that we felt like we discussed most of the major topics:
sex (wants and needs), politics, children, where to live, expectations of the other, and finances.
But....one of the major contributors to our separation was something that I had never considered; how much time I was spending with her. In other words, she said I was spending too much time with her. I never would have considered that a bad thing, or even something I needed to mention. When we got together, I was working a traveling job, but left it for something local in order to spend more time with her. Supposedly, she needs space, and a LOT of it. She wanted me to stay on the road and only see her every so often. We tried a few things during the marriage to give her space while not neglecting my need for closeness, but in the end, we just couldn't give what the other needed without giving up what we individually truly wanted.
So, in your quest for the right partner, don't forget to mention how close you like to be to the other.
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