I'm in my late 30s, and despite splitting up assets in a couple of long term relationships, I've done pretty well financially. I have a great job that pays well and my income will increase drastically over the next few years.

I'm currently single, in therapy, and thinking through how I approach my next relationship. I'm focusing a lot on doing things differently this time around.

I bring a lot to a relationship. I cook, clean, take care of the house, cars, finances, social calendar, am dedicated to self improvement in every way, am respectful, caring, generous and attentive, and have been a great partner (and am recognized regularly by friends as someone who will "have no issue finding someone amazing when I decide to start dating again").

I will be dating to find a partner, ideally one for the rest of my life. I want to put in the work to make this a reality. I'm not looking to casually date anymore.

I have lots of specifics I have learned are important to to me, but one that I've been thinking on a lot lately is success, and with that, career and finances.

I've always dated women who have and make significantly less than me. Perhaps chalk it up to my fixer/hero complex where I want to be the provider who takes care of everything (I'm working on it, don't worry). Also, that men do typically out earn. I understand that. Then when we move in together, I put the bigger downpayment on the house, and pick up more of the bills. It's only seemed fair. However, it's always "cost" me a lot when we split up.

But what if my partner was more of an equal in this sense? I dont want kids, so my partner would never be giving up her career to deal with that. What if she had found some success on real estate or investing or had significant savings, and is making six figures? What if we crush it and build an amazing life together?

I see people getting into relationships for what the other can provide, but I feel this is more what we can do/build together as equals. And in the case it does break down, we really are getting back what we've put in.

You're going to be too busy for me sometimes? That's ok, I have friends and family and can entertain myself. And I hope you're the same. So long as we can come together regularly and build our relationship (and we are both contributing that effort), I don't think this is a problem.

Will it cut my dating pool down even more? Absolutely. Will it result in a potentially more fulfilling relationship? I believe so.

I know money isn't everything, and it's certainly not the most important part of any relationship. But this is more about what we can each bring and build together.

So Reddit (especially women of DOT) tell me what you think? Am I out of my mind here? How do I find women in my financial "league"? Where are you successful women hanging out?

Edit- damn, this got nuts. Thanks everyone for their input.