Updated post.

I always ask about STI testing before anything physical happens, and I am amazed by the amount of people who haven't gotten tested within the last year, who've had a couple partners but haven't been tested recently, etc. Oftentimes, a person will start debating with me about the importance of testing. One person ghosted me after I insisted on it before we got physical, another person kindly told me he understood if I didn't want to proceed (though they could have just gotten tested for their own sake). I was talking to my ex today and asked them whether they got tested after us. They are dating someone new. They said no, which also blew my mind. I've gotten tested three times in the last year, including a throat swab (some STIs can live in your mouth). I also got tested after my LTR in case they cheated and gave me something before our dead bedroom situation.

From what I've observed, some people just don't think it's that big a deal, and cite STIs as being less common than in the past as a primary excuse. Sure, but you can still give me an incurable STI and no person is worth that risk if we aren't getting married or otherwise more serious.

We are grown adults. I'm dumbfounded by this common scenario. There are clinics everywhere to get tested if you don't want to go to your doctor. One person I went out with (only one date) told me beforehand that they just got tested and gets tested every three months. They also have three kids.

Edit: I should also add that my ex had asymptomatic herpes but didn't know till he got tested. There were two years in which he was living with it and potentially infecting other people. He did the whole phone call thing after and some people were pretty pissed. I thankfully did not contract it, but at least I was able to make an informed decision before getting physical with him.