43M here. I'd really appreciate your comments for understanding what I'm doing wrong. I've posted here before and I've noticed that redditors have been highly responsive comparing to other communities.

I'm European. I've used the most widespread dating apps in the past but I found them ineffective for meetups in my rural area. I came the conclusion that, if I must travel several hours for meeting with someone, at this point better being open beyond national borders.

Even though few discouraged me using Reddit as tool for dating, I constantly see people posting on the r4r communities, both women and men of any age, and the bottom line is always the same: "searching for a connection and maybe something more".

I've always interpreted "something more" as meeting in person but, after investing time and efforts into connecting with women around my age, we always seem to reach an impasse.

I believe this is the fourth or fifth time this year that we went through the usual steps: basics for knowing each other and finding common interests, exchange of pictures, daily greetings, occasional phone calls and considering a possible a meetup. This process usually lasts two or three weeks because throughout our busy life there are only a couple of time windows where we could daily get/give full attention.

It's so frustrating to find out that these kind of connections are so wobbly that, if we miss only one day without chatting, we might not hear from each other again. I believe that a healthy relationship, whatever it is, consists of two parties coming halfway. Certainly, there are moments when one feels down and skeptical while the other may try to compensate with fresh ideas. However, when that is a constant, I don't see the reason why someone should sound so desperate for keeping on proposing "something more" which is never going to happen. Wouldn't be better admitting that the relationship doesn't work and move on?

No, that's not my personal experience. I get told constantly: "sorry, I have no time", "sorry, I have to do this and that", and so on. So, I wonder, why in the first place did they reach me out if they had no time at all? Maybe just the oldest excuse in the world? I refuse to believe that. If someone reaches me out, I always try to make myself available. If I can't, I clearly state my reasons and try to pospone the conversation to another moment.

This recurring pattern made me consider that the ephemeral nature of Reddit entitles everyone to prune online connections in a such emotionless fashion, which can be more devastating than using dating apps.

After all, in a digital world, silencing a human being is just a click away (block, ban, delete, etc.).

Your thoughts would be appreciated.