Last year was my first adventure into OLD after a LTR. I learned a lot of lessons the hard way, got caught up in the dopamine rush of new matches, ignored a number of red flags, and generally had a weird time of things. This time around has still been weird, but I feel much more detached from everything and everyone, including the outcome of things. Basically, I assume that any given situation will most likely not work out due to one or both of us flaking on the conversation, incompatibility, serious fumbling, or something else. I used to always get into relationships when I was younger, so dating or even just talking with a lot of different people isn't necessarily bad, either. It's been eye-opening.

I think I am ready to date more seriously, but it doesn't make sense for me logistically to do so at this time. Hopefully, things will change in the next couple months, and I can start that journey. For now, I am just seeking something casual, but even that search is pretty damn tedious some, if not much, of the time. Part of it is because so many of the conversations repeat, even if I try different approaches. From experience, I know all of it feels incredibly tedious until you meet someone who makes all the effort worth it. Just waiting and venting.

I should add that my standards remain high but dating has made my expectations extremely low. A guy recently walked me to my car, and I was sort of shook, which is honestly sad.