Yes, he (m42) was a smoker when I (f39) met him.

Why did I accept to date him?

Because after 25 years of cheaters, abusers and the sort, I FINALLY found a great guy, caring, loyal and attractive. Which are obviously things that matter way more.

And…because he said he wanted to quit.

We have been dating for almost 2 years and he is still rolling his stinky ciggies, while “trying” or “cutting down”.

It’s not a dealbreaker to the point of trumping all the good stuff and breaking up. But I don’t like it, it impacts our intimacy because I dislike the smell on him. I honestly worry about his health. And I feel it’s just self harm.

In an ideal world where finding a perfect person is an option, I might even consider a stubborn break up - but I live in this world of humans and limited options, thus need a different and more reasonable way to navigate this issue.

How would you deal with it? How have you dealt with something similar?