OK, so I am turning 43 this year and I need some advice.

Let give you a backstory:I met my late wife when we were both 15 years old. She was a friend of my friend and such. We started dating a month or so after meeting each other. Now this girl was so far out of my league it wasn't funny. I was and well hell still am a Nerdy/Glee Kid type of guy. She was like pretty popular in school and we didn't go to the same school, we lived about 15 minutes away. She took me to her prom and I took her to my prom. So fast foward some and we are 19 now and still together. We are getting things ready to move in with each other, and we have been together at this point almost 5 years. We get married at age 20. I am not going to lie lol I don't even know how or why she dated me let alone marry my nerdy ass but she did! She gets pregnant shortly after we get married. Our daughter was born in December of that year.

So fast foward again and we are around 23 now and she started to get really sick out of no where and it just didn't seem to go away. So she went to the doctors and they said her immune system was failing. She completely loses it after a few more months. Now she has to be very careful of where she goes and who she comes into contact with. They put her on different meds to try and help with the problem. It did some. She had medical and health issue till the day she passed. Through all of her 20's she was just getting sick longer and longer. She had then started to have her organs go through a process that would randomly make them stop working and then start working again and then another one would do that. This made her super sick and they couldn't really tell us why it was happening. They said it was most likely her immune system being gone.

She is around 27 now and the doctors tell us that with all the damage to her organs and with her immune system being gone basically that she would most likely not make it out of her 30's. We were both devastated at this point. One day she had got extremely sick and was admitted to the hospital for 2 weeks because of kidney failure. She pulled through it some how, she was amazing strong! She tried her best to live life like a normal person. So time goes on and she actually started to do better and feel better which was so amazing and she still had times should would spend in hospital for weeks at time all through out her 30's.

So now its her 42 birthday she was so happy because she made it when they told her she wouldn't! You would have thought she won the lottery she was happy. Her birthday was in Sept. On the morning of Oct 10th I had got up before which was something I did all the time anyways. I walked into the bedroom and she was still sleeping and she sat up and moved to the end of the bed and turned to me and said told me hi. She then fell to the floor and she wasn't breathing at all. So I can 911 and I do CPR on her till they get there. When we got to the ER she still wasn't breathing and her heart had actually stop back at the house but they got it started in the ER. They evently more her to the ICU. She was hooked up to like 30 different machines. So hours go by and the doctor tells me that she has no brain activity at all. He said she had two blood clots in her lungs and most likely when she sat up they popped and went straight to her heart and brain. She never knew what happen and she never felt anything. Which I am very glad for. After they told me she was brain dead and that only the machines were keeping her alive, I had to make the choice.

She had always told me that she didn't want to live on machines and if that is what it comes down to, then please let her go. So I told them to pull her off the machines and she died within 5 to 10 minutes. That was 7 months almost 8 months here in the next week or 2.

This is where I need advice. Before she died we had talked about what would happen and things to be put in place. She told me and she told me many times that I had to promise her that I would go on with life and remarry and be happy and to always look over a daugther. I told her that I would. So now my daughter is going to be 23 this year and she has her own life and is happy which makes me so happy. I have 100% accepted that my wife is gone. I loved her with everything in me and in my mind she will always be my wife this is the woman that could look at me everytime and melt my heart with her smile and give me chills and butterfiles like I was meeting her for the first time. I have moved on with life, I started a new job, focusing on my health and focusing on my hobbies and friends/family and things like that.

Now I promised her I would go on with life and remarry and be happy but Am I being disrespectful and a horrible person because I have accepted to just be single and alone the rest of my time? My mother keeps telling me that is not what she wanted and that you know she would want you to move on and be happy with someone else. I know some people will think oh its only been 8 months your just don't know what you want and give it a few years etc. Like I said I have accepted that she is gone and I am OK with that she is in a better place and is free from all the pain and medical issues she had and I know she will always be with me.

So I ask, Am I being disrespectful and horrible if I don't ever remarry and stay single the rest of my time?