I salute anyone that reads this & gives me the time of day haha. Thank you ahead of time.

I met a guy while out of town back in April of this year. We were instantly intrigued by one another & spent the entire trip flirting, making eyes, etc. We exchanged information & kept in touch via texting for a couple months & I asked if he would like to go to a concert (In July) of a band we both like (halfway distance for each of us). We meet up, he politely explains to me that he expects nothing from me, only what I’m comfortable with and he’s just happy to be having the experience with me. But it’s pretty obvious we both want to hook up. We spend a great 2 days in LA together, we had sex (my idea since I pretty much wanted to bang him since the moment I laid eyes on him). We keep in touch, meet up again at the end of July (his idea/ location pick) Keep in touch throughout June, meet up again at the end of August (my idea/ location pick) These hangouts are lil weekend getaways in hotels, we typically drink (not sloppily but it is definitely included since we both feel like we’re on a getaway). The August trip ends abruptly due to a family emergency on his part. He calls me when he arrives home safely, couple days go by, I message him to make sure said family is alright, minor conversation & he drops off for the next couple weeks, some conversation about possibly meeting in September, dies out for another couple weeks. After some silence (that for me, felt like forever, I feel dumb for getting so used to someone being so available, despite living 8 hours apart) he hits me up in mid October asking about meeting up in beginning of November. That plan falls through due to his job responsibilities & we finally meet up at the end of November/ my birthday. We have nothing but a good time together (we have a shared hobby that involves travel in order to do) sex is great, conversation is good, and importantly, we laugh a lot together. He definitely verbalizes how into me he is & how he wishes I would move to the resort he works at, cute shit. This time had some relief moments because I was able to get some answers about the couple of pauses that took place in our friendship (if I should even call it that) and he admits that he did think about cutting me off because of the distance & frustration of liking someone who lives so far away, he apologizes for the minor ghosting. We have an Ultra-light distance VS feelings conversation (kind of like a what the fuck are we doing convo but way less intense LMAO) I tell him Rome wasn’t built in a day, eluding that hey maybe there is potential here but just not now & it stops at that. During time together he mentions that Im totally welcome to come visit him. He leaves trip before me due to work responsibilities & texts a heartfelt message, checks in to make sure I made it home safe & leaves me on read (no big to me since we just spent like 48 hours together). A week or so goes by no chatting, he comments on one of my stories, I reach out to him & check in, he mentions planning a trip in the near future, I mention visiting him at the end of this month. Chat continues about life & I get left on read.

DEEEP Breath

Is this guy into me? Am I getting too hung up on someone who is older & maybe *knows better than to think that this could become a relationship (if I moved most likely since I refuse to do long distance)?? Am I maybe in the wrong for wishing there was more communication during the times that we are not physically together? (I guess I get a little booty-tickled because he posts on his social media pretty consistently & watches all of my stories, although this might not be a fair assessment since people are totally allowed to use their phones and not want to directly talk to people). If I do end up seeing him at the end of this month (Keep in mind it would be NYE weekend) should I grow a pair and encourage the “where do you see this going?” Conversation???

What am I doing lmao?