Well go back 10 years a little more I met this girl online, I lived basiclly a world away. we talked for years up to thet 10 year thing.. when I was fianlly close enough ish that we could meet.. from that moment we started dating. we figured we took it slow it had already been almost 2 years. things where amazing for the first 2 -3 years an then she got pregneant. awkward time to meet her family sure enough even more so when it turned out we where having twins. We did it tho with the love an support from our familys every one more or less congratulated an supported the whole thing. this brings us to around 2013... my mom passed away of brain cancer.. I lost my mind an went on a spiral trying to end my self. drugs booze what ever. I sent her an the kids away because it was not safe an I did not want them too see me do it...

She finally left.

I was broken..

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i started to get life back together ill save that story. Met a woman lost the place u was at an we moved in really fast.. It was a long abusve terrable relationship in which i was blessed with two more kids..

that ended 8 months ago.

on the 1st of augest I re connected to my old love. my heart wants here still like the day she left. threw the last relationship I would call out for her in my sleep an dream about her weekly. (terrable for the other woman i know.. dont worry she earned it )

My old love call her 94.

94 claims she dose not know if she can ever love me like that again. how ever we have been in her truck an she has straight up out of the blue told me she loves me. One morning she is flirty by the night its like she hates me. I have been giving her all the time an due to getting kicked around the last several years I find my self easily hurt an quick to get emotional. I am so confused. I took her an I out of the context an reworded a few situations an gave them to her an she had no idea an found it just as confusing...

we are going camping with our 2 kids an her newst kid from her last relationship..

What the hell do i do.. we are all in the same tent if that matters..

One other peace of info that maybe important.. she will never text, email, call, what ever me first but will always answer unless there is to much to read an then she will ignore it. tho that I understand cuz some nights I am up all night an she is the only one I ramble to as of the last month

Quick facts that lead to confusion:

Oh god ive left so much out but I dont want to make this to over the top..

Did I mention I kicked the dope an dont drink any more. been quite a while..

spent 5 days at her place well watching her kid an mine after my ex tryed to have me thrown in jail..

Saved me after a stupid decition staying in her city an misunderstanding trying to take her for coffee an ended up almost getting beat up twice that night

her taking me being hurt as me getting angry even if I make it clear im just trying to figure it out but she just dosent want to talk.

if I think of any other I may eddit an add again