not to be a saint or something.. but I tried to live a sorta wholesome life. I know at this day and age that may seem kinda corny. But I did, for a couple of years (maybe 4 or 5 years) I did not watch porn, didn't have sex.. just tried to wait for the right one to come along to have a relationship with. Problem is, my friend stabbed me in the back, the betrayal, kinda devastated me, and everything just kind of blew up in my face, I pretty much slept with anything with 2 legs. The respect I gained from my peers, the self-respect most of all, just.. disintegrated. After that, I was a broken man. Right now, I'm just confused.. whether I should try to go back being.. or salvage.. being a wholesome guy. I'm just scared that if I do lead a life of.. uh.. pureness.. if something happens again, then I lose it, and then it happens again.. I'm scared to go down that path again. Maybe I should loosen up a bit and sleep around a bit once in a while so the sexual tension won't be so great at crisis time. Just seeking advice. I really want to settle down with a nice simple girl and live the rest of my life with her and our kids. Being sexually promiscuous isn't exactly contributing to that future..