I (M 55) haven't had a "real" date since before Covid. It feels as though the dating world has left me behind over the last 3 years. Any advice or direction welcomed on the following:

a. Is there a dating site where I don't have to post a photo? About two decades ago I posted a photo on my match.com profile and within hours I received several (unsolicited) emails off the site from women I know telling me that they found me and that my photos didn't portray me as well as they know me to be. With 3 women I knew emailing and texting within hours of posting, I realized colleagues and even employees could have found me, which felt uncomfortable, and I pulled the entire profile. How does one manage keeping dating from the rest of life? I realize some have rauchy Tinder profiles with their photos, but I can't post such things with an identifying photo.

b. With the progress in facial recognition systems, any profile with a photo could be linked to one's name, career, family, net worth, etc. How do people with high-profile careers manage this?

c. What are the best sites to use? I am in my mid-50s and would be open to a range of ages, including younger.

d. I am very successful, Ivy-educated and intelligent professional. Are there websites that do better with that profile? I would prefer an intellectual, successful woman as I feel we would have more in common.

e. Is there an easy way to find a match? I feel I can so much more direct by being anonymous. But if I have to post photos that are available to all to see, I can't be as direct, because things I would tell a date are very different from things I would broadcast to any professional colleagues, neighbors, or even my kids' teachers who could come across my dating profile. For example, I would be open to fwb, but I can't post that next to my public photo. I would like a woman open-minded to kink, but I can post that on a profile for all to see. Maybe I am too old-fashioned, but it just doesn't seem to be things one should be broadcasting.

f. Are sites like Seeking or Hinge credible dating sites? They seem to be marketed as mainstream, but they were once edgy.

g. I haven't had sex since Covid. Do I tell that to a potential date? What if I can't perform? I feel like a car that has been parked in a garage for 3 yrs--I may have a dead battery and stale gasoline.

h. Would it be inappropriate to date a woman who is 20 years my junior?

i. Is having to deal with a guy's schedule with his kids a big hassle for a potential date? Should I be direct about that in a datng profile? It sure would save time, but it is direct.

j. Are there good places to go in the NYC suburbs or NYC to meet potential dates? Places near where I live just don't seem to have that bar scene anymore.

Thanks. I am a positive, upbeat guy, but I feel as though online dating is pretty narrow in pushing all into a silo while I seek privacy and differentiation.