I see a lot of post about people getting/giving mixed signals or withholding important opinions, feelings, beliefs, etc. from their loved ones, love interests, or admirers. I don't know when it became commonplace in today's dating world that you are supposed to be keen to all these subtle hints, but personally I feel like it sets up this unhealthy dynamic between two individuals, where not stating your intentions outright when the moment calls for it just serves to cause confusion and misunderstanding.

I am convinced that a lot of these problems that arise from these mental gymnastics could be easily remedied by openly communicating your feelings or expectations once the issue or subject arises, instead of being evasive or misleading with your actions and statements.

If I am interested in someone, I should tell them I am interested. If I am uncomfortable with something that my partner is doing, I should have a talk with them about how and why it makes me uncomfortable. If I am not getting the kind of consenting love language communication that I desire, then I should ask them to reciprocate it.

Things only stand to get exacerbated when the cold shoulder is given, or when feelings are withheld, or intentions not expressed, or others lead on, or hiding things from them, or any other number of passive aggressive communications. But if an open line of communication is kept then there is no confusion on these things.

It can be uncomfortable talking about stuff like relationship expectations, personal rules/boundaries, sexual desires, bringing up issues, etc. with someone that I am interested in, or telling somebody why I am not interested in them. But I only think that the reason we feel uncomfortable openly talking about these things is because we as a society have made it that way. I think we need to start normalizing open communication when interacting with others instead of playing head games in hopes that the other person will pick up on the subtle hints.

tl;dr

normalize open communication with others about your feelings and stop passive communication/signaling.